explainin loooosy

WELCOME to the Forest Flaw.
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You can see by my blog that I have many interests, including sewing, drawing and writing about various crafty art related things.
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Friday, 24 July 2015

String theory gives you purpose

I know I have written about this before, but being creative really is my savior. Without it, I become a shell, a husk if you will, with no ambition and grumpy. BOY do I get grumpy when I don't have a project. OOh mama. Grumpy.

But more than that, it's a way to connect to my life purpose. 

Its hard to connect the dots to why we do things (and why things happen to us) in our life, especially if you have existential angst to a stupid degree like I do. And to this end I have spent much of my life trying to find a so called 'purpose'.
At high school we are supposed to know what we are meant to do; fireman, banker, lollipop person. But come on, I've spent my whole life not knowing, and finally, FINALLY decided that that is ok. I forgive myself for not becoming a corporate leader. I forgive myself for not making a million dollars...or even thousands...tens? I forgive myself for not owning my own home or only just purchasing a new car, ironing undies or bleaching my tea towels or whatever good adults do. It wasn't in my mandate, not my purpose in life.

Any of you creative types might just relate to this:

I spent my teens working and quitting jobs because it wasn't what I was 'supposed' to be doing.
I spent my twenties studying and searching my interests in an effort to head in the right direction.
I spent my thirties working, playing, drinking and studying and sometimes up a tree (but that's another story) because I thought there was no purpose or meaning.
And now, approaching my forties, I've finally realised that my purpose is to somehow create and be fruitful and work to support my fruitful creativeness. 

But what about money? I hear you ask. Well, It's never been a big thing on my radar. I know that I need it, but it's what keeps us creative types driven - keeps us hungry - sometimes quite literally. This has been the struggle. I've been too busy creating stuff. Useful stuff and useless stuff of all kinds.

Which has got me thinking; surely I'm not the only person who has stumbled around this long not knowing which direction to take? All my friends are amazing qualified people with incredible jobs and security, but I can't be the only one who flip flops all around the nation trying on different roles and falling back to 'being creative'.
Where are all the other flippy floppers? I know you're out there, probably had to sell your computer to eat, I get it.

So, back to the school days thread, if 'being creative' was a job prospect, would I have though twice about it? It would have been like this:

Looking for an exciting, life long career that will fulfill you spiritually but not financially?
Hours are flexible, food is optional, opportunities are ... negotiable.
Long hours of manic coffee drinking, followed by long hours of couch surfing  idea incubating.
Years of perfecting your skills punctuated by bad jobs, periods of doubt, depression, ennui and coveting your neighbour's ass because you can't afford your own.
Cannot mind about clothing being covered in paint, or other permanent mediums.
Must be good at defending career choice to family, friends and bank managers.
Noodle eating a must, holidays not included. Ever.
n.b. personal experience may differ from position shown

So, what's the answer? I would have done it anyway but maybe I would have been able to forgive myself sooner. Wouldn't this all be a lot easier if we had Harry Potter's sorting hat?
Or something more like the task tortoise, the job giraffe, purpose porpoise...?

But then I found this picture, and now I finally know the real meaning of string theory...
And basically the meaning of life. Which is obviously cats. Always cats.

Monday, 13 July 2015

Labels and deer, Sundays and Beer

Sometimes you feel like you are living a double life.

When you are devoting time and emotion equally to two separate things at once - it can - and trust me - WILL - come crashing down on your head sooner or later.

As you have all seen, I've been creating and crafting clothing for my new line of goodies called the forest flaw-drobe. This has taken up approximately 50%of both doing and daydreaming time.
The other 50% has been working 5 or six days at my job in a science and technology centre that has been racing against the clock to gain funding, raise awareness, perform double tasks for the school holidays - lest we all take a redundancy and the whole place closes down.

Now you may have all read that I have a condition that makes me tired, grumpy, sore, crippled and did I mention tired? So When I close my eyes and try to sleep, I am sewing dresses for bunsen burners, creating skirts for scientists and generaly spinning plates in all directions. When I wake, I open my cripply fingers and brush my teeth and head off to work to do it all over again. It's been full on. It's been good and it's been bad. It's still not over except that I have a small window of breathing space for a week. Ahh.

Now, that's all good while I am still going, keeping pace, forging ahead. But Sunday marked the 'celebration' of becoming an independent entity at work, which meant there were drinks laid on. I crafted my two worlds together and sewed up a frock for the occasion. I worked flat out and skipped lunch. I was ready - and I mean READY to blow off some steam. After all, I didn't have to work the next day.
Now the thing about drinking on a Sunday is that - well, you're probably going to do it on your own. Most people are prudent in that they must drive - go to work the following day - realise they will have to work with these people again. The list goes on. Clever people.

Needless to say. I got messy. My dress got messy. I was sick (serves me right) and now I must hang my head down low when I return to the workplace.
My husband however has enjoyed telling all the world about my adventure - the plumber got to hear all about it, and the waitress at dinner last night. So at least it wasn't all for nothing.

Anyway - I have a conclusion to make and that is 'pace yourself'. In everything. Set your sights on one thing at a time. Don't burn out and crash your life into the metaphoric wall through falling asleep at the wheel (or sewing machine). So that's what I will be doing. Lesson temporarily learnt.
I am going to keep focus on my dressmaking orders, cut back work to three days and keep a steady course.
No more burnouts for me - I'm quite good at embarrassing myself without alcohol thank you very much.

Also, don't drink kids. Just don't.

My mess dress. Can't get enough of deer. Can get enough of beer.
 And my new labels arrived yesterday! loving them :)